Steven Carter-Bailey was this season’s first Star Baker last week, well done Steven! (You can just tell he’s a Steven and not ever a Steve) He has some fancy yummers planned. I got all excited because I saw Julia Chernogorova carefully grinding cardamon pods next to a huge pile of peeled pistachios but then she whipped out the pistachio extract and it’s like nobody’s seen this show! Never use extract! Never! It tastes artificial and too strong, it’s a sword Season Eight contestants seem determined to fall on. Liam Charles is the first to tell us about his biccys, he’s only 19 but he understands the importance of stuffing lots of chocolate into things and I appreciate that. Judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith look on as Sandi and Noel explain the Signature Challenge the baketestants will be making 24 sandwich cookies in two hours and 15 minutes. I like how Sandi chills out more later, she’s also apparently working through a bomber jacket stage, she’s like a tiny pale Karamo Brown with a blonde wig. Hosts Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding banter a bit outside the tent, this is their first year together so they’re still finding a rhythm. We’re baking cooooookiiiiess!!! But since we’re in the UK, we’re calling them biscuits and I will try my hardest to remember that. Are you ready to find out what we’re baking today? Me too! Rolling into GBBO S8:E02 Biscuit Week after the break! Social distancing was garlic-based and not even our bakers washed their hands enough. Hello! Welcome back to the Great British Bake Off and 2017 when nobody’s heard of the coronavirus and self-isolating is just something you do after a soggy night at your local Karaoke bar.

Good night biscuit book